Round 1 over!

Well friends and enemies, it has been a couple crazy days since I last took time to post anything.  First and most important is that we made it through our first Chemo treatment on Monday.  I was most please that is was not a harsh as I had anticipated!  Nausea and fatigue did set in later in the evening and once again today, but if this is the worst, I can handle it.  I did learn an important lesson (or at least I got the POINT).  When the doctor tells you that if you have a temperature of 100.4 or above, it is vital that you call his office.  That is 100.4 and not 104 like I thought I heard.  You see, Saturday was a rough day for our protagonist.  Sore throat, chills and a temperature of 102!  I guess it would have been wise to call the Doctor.

Again, I am pleased that we have started our road to recovery, but I must say this is like a prison sentence.  I feel like I have been shuffled off to Folsom for the next 5 months or so.  Let’s hope time flies.

Eyes of a stranger.

Cancer Goggles, oh how the world is different when you wear them.  I know, everyone has seen a movie or read a book where the lead character has some life changing event occur and now they see the world in a different perspective.  Well, I know The Hallmark Channel will not be making a movie about my life story, but I must say this little event has been a swift kick in the kibbles and bits.  Life has jammed is brake peddle to the floor board.  No more high gear, no more running around stress out because I lost my Redbull, no longer worrying about the micro management of every minute in the day. 

Life has just stopped.

So now we sit, between life Pre-C and life After-C.   It is as if we are eating our way through an Oreo Cookie!  Top wafer has long been eaten and now we are just about to finish the white center.  That only leaves the bottom wafer (in this case, the bottom wafer is Treatment).  Living these last few weeks between the two wafers has been trying, very emotional and yet extremely warming at times as well. 

I have tried to sum up my feelings...tried to relate the situation to something else...and all I can say is that I am lost and with that comes being scared.  Now I am not scared of cancer, I am not scared of being sick or how the treatment will leave me.  I am honestly not scared of death.  Yet I cry for those that I hold close to my heart.  To know, that I am about to rip away not just months, but an entire summer from my little girl just shatters me.  To tell her that I can't play baseball with her or I am unable to run around the park with her...I am heart broken.  And my most loving wife Misty, she has no choice in this matter.  She will play the roll of the Mother, Father, Housekeeper, Chef and Nurse.  All of this while she still works and knowing her, worry about me while doing so.  The hand that I have been dealt has caused grief and inconvenience for so many people...it is just not fair to them.  I am so very sorry.  It might take the rest of my life, but I will mend what has been broken.

I really need to change the direction of this entry…

Sooo…I am sure at one point or another, you have wondered who would show up to your funeral when you died?  Am I right?  Well do this, think about who would show up to your side when you are sick.  I never thought about it before, but I can tell you now, there are a lot of caring people in our lives.  I have had so many well wishes and prayers, offers to cook or go shopping, cut our lawn, take Grace out…basically, anything they can do to help.  I even have support of people that I have never met…NO SUSHI FOR NEIL! 
I often shed a tear because I know that it is not just Misty and myself battling this demon.

Again, I will be forever in debt.

Neil

Clark, Brent, Steve...thanks for your help and support.
Dad, love ya and please don't worry too much.
Toad (Shanna)...as we typed back and forth the other day...I just cried.  I miss you.
Misty...my love.
Gracie...you are my angel.

I WON $50,000 ON A SCRATCH OFF TICKET!!!

Well...not really, it was actually 5 bucks...but I did get your attention once again!

So the last post has pretty much brought everyone up to speed with all the fun stuff that has been happening around the Casa Martin.  From here on, each post should be simple and mostly cover those days’ events (if there is anything to post). And this post will be one of those...

The 4th of April is closing in and we still have bridges to cross.  Today it was off to the Dietician at the Memorial Cancer Resource Center.  It was a basic overview of what "could" happen during Chemo treatment and what foods would be beneficial to my well being.  Please search "No Sushi For Neil" on FaceBook...you will have a good laugh.  Basically, most of the wondrous foods that I so fondly love are to be forgotten.  And the items I can still eat must be fully cooked...I prefer my steak rare, not dried to the point where it resembles shoe leather!  Eggs...runny! Sushi...raw!  What the...?  They want to prevent me from losing weight...well this is not the way to do it!  And...and...I have been told that I might loose my sense of taste!  CANCER SUCKS!

Another path to be traveled is the one that leads to the Dentist office.  Unknown to us, any dental issues will interfere with my Chemo treatment.  This is just AWESOME as we only have a few days left before treatment starts and from what I have been already told, the dental repairs that I require will take longer than just a few days and that does not include healing time.  So tomorrow, I have two or three teeth that are scheduled to be extracted...AHHHHHHH! Seems like everyone gets a chance to take a SWING at Neil!  Best thing about this is that I can always purchase more teeth later on.  Maybe even gold ones...can you say "Flavor Flav"!

With all that is going to be happening over the next few days, it is obvious that I will not be back to work before the 4th.  So today, I said my "See ya later's" to everyone that I could and explained to them that I might be back in a couple of weeks or it could be 4 months.  We will just see how stubborn I am!

I need to give a WOOT WOOT out to Susan and Vicki...they are my Southern Moms!  Thank you for all your support.

Y'all come back now...

NEIL!  That is who I am.  But secretly I think of myself as Muhammad Ali!  I have just stepped in the ring with one tough opponent and I need to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee to win this fight.  The one I need to knock out would be Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the head and neck.  CANCER!  Yes, the big "C" word.  Well, the bell has rung and we are about to go toe to toe and I hope that you will follow my bout to the end of the 15th round where I will raise my hands victoriously.

My goal is to provide not only updates for my family and friends, but I truly hope that others with Squamous Cell Carcinoma will wrap their minds around my experiences and  have an understanding that they are not alone in their own personal fight.  I myself have read blogs written by others and have been touch by their pain and suffering as well as their triumphs over the illness that has inflicted them.

So if you are ready, let's begin...

Again, my name is Neil and I am a transplanted Canadian living close to Chattanooga, Tennessee.  Up to a few months ago, I was a fairly healthy 40 year old husband and father who had a few minor bad habits, casual smoking and the odd drink here and there.  Did I say up to a few months ago?  Well, it was one morning in early February that life as we had lived it stopped and the new chapter began.  It was on this morning while shaving that I felt an odd "bump" on the right side of my neck, just above my collar bone.  Of course, I showed my wife and made her touch it.  The "bump" left us both puzzled and I decided that I would just monitor it over the next little while...this usually translates to just leaving it with hope that it will just magically vanish!  Fortunately, I had been punched around by a stomach virus a few days prior and that day was another one where the stomach was taking a kicking.  So off to the Walk In Clinic I went to have my stomach virus tended to.  Since I was already there, I asked about my new neck friend and if there was any relation to the stomach virus.  I was told that the two issues were not related and that the bump could possibly be my thyroid.  So out of the Clinic's office I went with a script for antibiotics and fist full of hope that this would take care of it.  Oh, I forgot to mention that the Doctor said that if they did not work, I would be in need of an Ultra Sound (great...more money) to try and determine what the bump consisted of. 

Fast forward one week...bump is now a lump!  Off to an Ultra Sound it was for me and when all was done I knew something was not just right.  The technician asked if I wanted to talk to the Doctor and of course my response was "Do I need to?"  The word "Yes" never came out of her mouth, but I could tell by the way she was acting that seeing a Doctor might be a good thing.  The Doc went straight to the point and said that my friend could possibly be a cancerous tumor in my lymph node and that he has brought along a few smaller friends.  Now friends, to say that I was shock by his statement would be nothing more than a lie.  Cancer has a history with my family and I knew that it was only a matter of time before my number was called.

So where was I to go next?  How about an Oncologist, an Ultra Sound Guide Biopsy, CT Scans, PET Scan and a visit with E.N.T. Specialist, Dr Todd Fowler.  At the end of our first visit, my Wife and I knew that Dr Fowler was going to be an extraordinary individual that would walk with us during the first stages of my victory.  After reviewing all the scans and having a good poke and prod of my throat and nose, Dr Fowler has the displeasure of speaking the wicked words... Squamous Cell Carcinoma.  "What the hell is that?" one might ask (I for sure had no clue what it was).  Now I only play a Doctor on TV...so I will do my Neil best to explain this.  Basically, there is a Primary source of cancerous cells located somewhere else in you body and it is possible that a small portion will break loose and then become lodged in a lymph node.  Well bully for me, a chunk of the burg broke off, floated down stream and clogged the filter!  I guess now is a good time to introduce Tony...Tony the Tumor!  Tony has taken on a life of his own, he is like a little Hitler with how he has dictated the present and future, he lets it known that he is aggravated and he also rattled his little followers into a frenzy.  So why not name him?  This way, once he is evicted, we can have one hell of a going away party for him (one Doctor even suggested a Wake!).  We will speak more of Tony later.

As I had just mentioned, there is usually a Primary source that leads to SCC (we will refer to my condition as this from here on) but of course, not for Neil...he has no known Primary source!  The result, a tonsillectomy, endoscopic sinus surgery, biopsy of the tongue and Laryngoscopy.  Now I am sure that you have heard from those who have had their tonsils removed during their adult years...it hurts, VERY MUCH SO!  But the big evil of the random biopsies is the tongue.  There is nothing more pleasurable than to wake up in a panic at 3 in morning thinking someone is cutting your licker off with a pair of rusty garden shears! 

Let's leap a couple of weeks ahead...the tonsils feel pretty good and the tongue, well I can tolerate it's petty annoyances.  We have had another appointment with Dr Fowler and it was his opinion that we move onto the next step which would involve Dr David Rice, the Radiation Oncologist.  Uncertainty hung heavily in the air in regards to this visit.  Surgery and then Radiation, that was my preference.  Get Tony the hell out of here and then laser bomb his groupies.  As the wife and I drove over to Dr Rice's office, we discussed another "C" word, Chemotherapy.  I would gladly offer body parts, fingers, toes and other fond things...in lieu of Chemo.
After the usual formalities, we finally met with Dr Rice and it might not have been his first sentence, but the second clearly declared Chemo as part of my treatment....MARDE!  And then he went on to tell us that I will be partaking in Chemo/Radiation Combo...DOUBLE MARDE!  Well since Dr Rice is a Radiation Oncologist, I would be required to see another Oncologist that would administer my Induction Chemo.  Say hello to Dr Mark Anz, the man with the cancer killing cocktail.  The discussions with Dr Anz were fairly positive considering the circumstances.  I explained to him that I sat by my Mother's side when she had her treatments, so I had a good understanding of the process and what to expect.  Of course, no one ever knows just how their own body will react...but I shall know as of April 4, 2011.  Chemo treatment No. 1!

Are ya still with me, or have you gone back to check see who commented on your last FB post?

I just want everyone to know that I will rise; I will punch, kick, bite and do what ever it takes to defeat this.  I also have a rock that I stand on every day, that would be my loving wife Misty (please see her blog http://thewifesside.blogspot.com/). I know that each step of this process would be impossible if it was not for her unwavering love and care.  She has a very tough summer ahead of her.  I love you Misty.

A big thanks goes out to our families and friends.  Tammy, Carrie, Yolie...thank you for being there.  Jason, Lee and Robert, besides my wife, I think you three are the other reason I moved to the States.  You are all true friends.